First things first.
Yesterday I bought a pair of Asics Gel-Enhance III sneakers. They aren’t quite what the girl at Marathon Sports recommended, but the feel is the same, which is important, and they were half the price, which is glorious.
I piled my new shoes, my college shorts, sports bra, socks, and Obama shirt next to the door. I’m hoping that looking at this pile will remind me that it is very easy to don my running costume and just get out there, but I think there’s some mental preparation I’ve got to do first. The pile, though, is there, ready when I am.
I’ve tried running so many times and just stopped. Because it hurt! And I couldn’t breathe! And no amount of knowledge that the mental side of this sport is perfect for me, and the health benefits and sense of accomplishment I’ll feel, will get me to do it again. It’s when I make these sweeping judgements of running and freakish running people with their mythical runners’ highs that someone who used to feel the way I do comes along and tells me I’ve just been doing it wrong, and that I need to try again.
I believe you, people. And I will. But in my desire not to be so battered and bruised by running, I want to be sure I’m more than just ready to try again. I ant to know that I’m ready to make the effort to do it right.
When I last became a vegetarian it was the same. How many times did I remove meat from my diet and get sick? How many times did bacon pull me off the wagon? My diet has really taught me a lesson in self-restraint. It wasn’t until I was ready to take the extra steps (monitoring my iron and vitamin D intake, visualizing where that bacon came from when I was tempted, etc.) that I actually had any success at not eating meat. I figure, with no job to speak of, I should have all the time and energy necessary to keep the running ball rolling. My first big goal is to make running a habit. Further down the line, I want to like it. Later, I want to crave it.
Most importantly I want to treat my body with the respect it deserves. I’m not sure I ever have, honestly. This is my time.
I’ll let you know when I start.
